Anyone else disappointed with the Grammys this year? I think it was an egregious tragedy of epic musical malfunction.

I knew this entire show was headed downhill as soon as U2 came on stage and decided to debut a new single. Clearly, they’ve regressed back to horrible music melodies. Have they learned nothing?? They’re worse off now than they were before their comeback.

As for the winners, why did Coldplay get so many awards? They sit there and bang a drum to a constant beat while moaning as if they are giving birth or something. And I’m not exaggerating. That’s about every song on all their albums. Not to mention the lead singer, Chris Martin, thinks he is so humble. Yet, we all know he has the conceded ideals of Kanye West with his outbursts in public. They would definitely tie for the biggest douche in the universe award. Kanye seemed to be all over the place that night sporting what I call his frohawk. Please, can someone tie him to his seat next time?

And don’t get me started on slaughtering the classics. I think everyone managed to rape them repeatedly. They gave to everyone from Motown to Stevie Wonder a good flogging. Why, Stevie, Why? Why did you let the Jonas Brothers do that to you? And then there was the performance of Taylor Swift and Miley that seemed like a Disney concert special for the kiddies. I’m sure if I were 8 it would have been mildly inspiring. While I admire Taylor Swift for having talent, Miley’s shouting match in attempt to steal the show from Taylor was just unbearable.

Well, with all the bad that came from this year’s Grammy celebration, there were some small glimmers of light in an otherwise smog-filled swamp.

One performance that saved the Grammys was Katy Perry’s fruit orgy. She came out of a giant banana onto a set full of cherries, apples, and other various fruits. Then she rocked our world. And at the end the camera panned out to the Jonas Brothers with their jaws on the floor. Bravo, Katy Perry, bravo. And let’s not forget that Adele beat out some teeny bopper bands, which was definitely a well-deserved pummeling. Additionally, Radiohead managed to pump up the night with a wicked percussion section. Thank you to all of the above artists for not making this year’s Grammys a total waste of time.

Let’s hope next year will be a little better. And Grammy people, please quit raping classic songs. It’s so unnecessary.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 13th, 2009 at 4:12 pm and is filed under general, music, news. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.